No more PATENTS - all creative capability will be available to all, for all. no more "i invented this first so nobody else gets to use it and profit from it"

In an equal money system profit will be taken out of the equation and all products will be produced in the most effective and quality based way possible. Therefore there will be no need to protect ones invention per say, because one cannot profit from it anyway. Either it will be available to all, or it will not be produced, because a statement “I invented this first, this is mine”- or similar statements would indicate an ego possession which will not be taken into consideration. The equal money system in its roots will be designed in a way that it will promote inventions which are revolutionary in a way that they transform our current way of living in a capitalistic system. The possibilities that will emerge with the inventions in an equal money system will be most certainly the best inventions that we could ever come up with as a human race. This said it is clear by now that inventions which could benefit all mankind are already available, but are suppressed by the current economic system in the name of profit of corporations.

No more racism as you'll not fear others from being intruding your country for money

With equal money system racism will ultimately stop in a very short period of time as races will not have to compete among each other as they do today, because of the apparent differences between various races of earth. Today the competition among races of humanity is mostly driven by religion and money as some have less and others have more, which happened because of the set up of the current money system- where some win and others loose. Races will no longer need to stand together as a form of families that have to protect their money and their god, because there will be only one god as the equal money system and all will have access to everything which makes life on earth worth while.

No more `brainless` television

If you looked some reality shows on the television, you know what I am talking about. For  example Jerry Springer show or soap operas or other shows that are made only to brainwash people and to make them oblivious to reality. In an Equal Money System, there will be shows that are going to entertain you also, but in a different way. What you see today on television are shows that are made only to make you spend your time unproductively and on top of it, you become addicted to watch them and not miss a single episode. Equal Money System will change things in a way that you won't even need television anymore because a lot of other options will open up and you will be able to spend your time more effectively and make more fun out of it.

NO MORE BATHING SUITS WITH EMS?

No, this doesn't mean that in an Equal Money System, everybody will walk naked on the beach but there will be no bikinis and such bathing suits that barely covers your ass. Now, you are wondering why would this be common sensical? Because in today's world sex sells. I wanted to buy new bathing suits this summer and I had to go over every store that sells them in order to find some that were fine for me, because bikinis are not comfortable at all. I had bikinis years ago and everytime I jumped into the swimming pool or into the ocean I had to be careful not to show something more than I wanted, if you know what I mean. Bathing suits should be comfortable and practical and not something that will be shown as sex object. Anyway, the bathing suits that will be produced in EMS will be made out of best materials and to suit everybody's needs.

Sleeping = waiting for death

I have become very lazy over the past couple of months. I don’t feel like doing anything but nothing and today I have realized that my “non-action” that has been going on and on has to stop. This is pretty much the same as if I would want to die. Just to give you an idea how my day looked like: I was sleeping as long as I could – this means hours and hours of sleeping which is basically the same as I waited for my death in my bed – I didn’t want to get up in the morning and start a day with some motivation, like doing something. Practical or not practical – it doesn’t matter because as long as I move and as long as I am present here in the moment. I was rather sleeping and not wanting to deal with what is here. The reason why is probably that I did not want to accept and face the reality as it is (to see who I really am and write myself out to become equal and one someday). I know that I have to deal with a lot of shit that I have been compounding over the years and this scares the hell out of me, because I believe within myself that I couldn’t handle all of it. Much self forgiveness will be required, starting from now on. So, the first thing that I obligated myself to do (or I will force and push myself to do – because this is currently the only way possible to start something moving), I will set up my alarm clock every morning at a reasonable time (this would be 7 or 8 am). I have tried this already but I failed because when it rang I just set it up to a sleeping mode and it rang every 5 minutes until I had enough and set a new time for the alarm which was postponed by one or two hours at least. The first decision is that I will get up in the morning when my alarm clock starts to ring; I will not postpone the alarm anymore, not even for a minute. Moving on to my daily routine: next when I finally got up, I went and wash my teeth, getting dressed and then I went to work. After coming home, I went out with my friends for a drink or I went onto my computer and just checked my mail, facebook, watch some videos on youtube, chatting online with people etc. I usually stayed up pretty late so when I had enough I went under the shower and back to bed. The second thing that I decided to do is to start writing self-forgiveness every day, step by step because I have difficult times doing that, so I will have to also push myself and create some routine in that perspective. Just to get started. So, these are two big points that I will have to start incorporating in my life, starting from now on. By sleeping less, I will have more than enough time to do things that I want or I have to finish (for example my diploma, or writing self-forgiveness, going out with my dog for a nice long walk,…) So, for the last time, here is my conclusion:

• I  will no longer sleep as many hours “as I like”, instead I will get up in the morning when my alarm clock is rings, not trying to postpone my sleeping for another minute or two but just get up without any resistance
• I will write self-forgiveness on daily basis, taking step at a time to gain consistency; I will not fear of writing, I will take it as something which will improve me as who I am

That is all for now, will keep you updated on how am I doing and dealing with new decisions that I have made.

Will dildo research be done openly for real time feedback?

In an Equal Money System, dildo will be a luxury product – meaning: if one would like to have dildo for personal pleasure and satisfaction, she or he would have to work for it. Dildos won’t be produced in large amounts just because there will be no need for this. Why? Just look at today’s porn industry. Why is demand for dildos so high? Because people see all kinds of things in porn videos and they start to create some kind of desire to experience the same pleasure as seen on the screen of the TV or computer. They create an idea that they will get a super orgasmic experience by using sex toys just because a woman in porn screamed like crazy because of the pleasure she got by using a dildo, even though she exaggerated five times more than she actually enjoyed.

What would happen if dildo research would be done openly for real time feedback for everyone to see? This would be (for majority of people) porn in front of the live audience which would cause only abuse because many would go there and want to see “the action” and if you have a look from the common sense perspective; we are all different, we all have different needs, some like it this way, others like it another way. Because of that, there is no need for open dildo research because every one for themselves knows what gives them pleasure and this is subjective and personal thing which one can only find if she or he investigates what works best to satisfy the needs.

What happens to my credit card debt -my mortgage- personal debt?

In an Equal Money System all debt will be forgiven. In today's world we have to borrow money from banks for example - we have to take out a loan if we want to have our own house, car and other things which are almost necessary to have in our lives. We need those things right away and we can't wait 10, 20 or 30 years on a street, without a warm place to stay in for example and then move into a new house when we raise enough money to buy or build a new one. We have to take a loan. So because of that (and there are also a lot more examples in real life), we are all the time in debt. We pay our debts all our lives and when something is finally payed, a new loan comes up because the products are made to last only for a certain amount of time and then they break, don't work properly any more. But we still need a certain product so we have to go and buy it again.
We have to start fresh, therefore all debts will be erased in a new system. It is not right to pay for something because the system was made in a way to force people to go into debts. We didn't have any other options but to go with the system in order to survive in it. In an Equal Money System, we won't struggle to survive, we will live like kings and queens; everybody will have what they need and no one would have to worry about money.

Will there be DIP in schools?

DIP or Desteni I Process is a course where we can perfect ourselves in a way where we free ourselves from any fears, self - doubts, we can overcome limitations and learn about how our mind works and master feelings and emotions.
In an Equal Money System there will be no DIP course in a regular schooling program, since learning program will be designed in a way which is best for all. Children will learn not only to read, write, science, mathematics and other subjects; they will also learn about life in general, how to correct and apply themselves. Schooling system will be much different from the current one, because now only grades matters and in an EMS this will change, since there will be emphasis on actual content and it will be introduced in a way that will encourage children to think and participate actively throughout learning hours. Of course one will have a chance to also participate in DIP course but this will be offered outside of regular schooling program if one will decide to take part in it.

How will my ex-husband compensate if I raise the children?

Nowadays it is hard to be a single parent because it is difficult to raise children on your own since the expenses are bigger. So, the most commonly asked question would be: “how will I raise my children alone?” Usually, other parent pays the alimony for the children but in some cases one can’t afford to pay the alimony. In an equal money system no one would ever have to pay something for another because everyone will get an equal amount of income (which is going to be different depending on the needs and standards in countries) and with this basic income one will have everything they need to live a dignified life without struggling through the month and worrying if he or she will have enough money to buy food or electricity.

Will we all have to be bald?

In cutting your hair, you make a statement that you will no longer abuse your nature with chemicals which you can find in shampoos, conditioners, dyes and other hair products. We daily pollute water with products for hair just because we want to look good, nice and attractive with beautiful shiny hair. By shaving it all off you simply say that you do not allow this in your world anymore. Another perspective is also that you let go of your ego because hair is something that most people see as a sexual object. In an equal money system you will not have to be bald. It is your choice. But there will no longer be such abuse of our nature, because shampoos and other hair products will be made without chemicals that could contaminate water and generally nature.

Will the queen of England still be the queen in an Equal Money System?

No, the queen of England will not be the queen anymore as there will be no queens or kings in an equal money system. Neither there will be no princes or princesses as all will be equal and in such a way we shall not have slaves who make the queen of England possible today, worshipping her as something greater than other human beings. The queen of England will no longer be necessary as the queen of England is on its throne only as a consequence of the current economic system where some can be more than others depending on how much money they have, thus how much power they possess. The bloodlines of the past as kings and queens will no longer hold their power because the power that money holds today will be taken out of the equation and in this way there will no longer be an economic system where profit rules as the corporations of this world who are at an invisible war for money. The Equal money system will bring power to all and thus in a way making everyone the queen of England.

Capitalism vs. Equal Money System

A lot of expensive things that we buy have warranty and when I go to the shop and I am looking for a product that is of "higher" quality I always look if it has longer warranty than other products which they offer in the store. Why? Because the product will last longer. But the fact is that when warranty expires, the product won't last much longer because we live in the capitalistic world where everything is based on profit. Companies make such products that will last for a couple of years and then they will break or will not work as it should any longer and you will need to buy a new one eventually. That is how it works in today's world. The goal for every company is to make as much money as possible and so they make crappy things which you will have to replace as soon as the warranty expires because you can't live without them, you need them in life but there are no companies that will make products that will last you for all your life.
I found at home really old shaving machine which is made from metal and if I would  accidentally drop it  on the floor it won't break and it will work just fine compared to the other shaving machine which I bought a year ago and is made from plastic. I have to be really careful not to drop it because it would break immediately and I could just throw it away into garbage. What I would like to say is that things are made from materials which are not strong and don't last. Another example would be my mobile phone. After warranty expired on my phone it worked just for another two months. Then the microphone stopped working and if I wanted to get that repaired I would pay more money then if I just bought a new phone. By making such things only for profit we just buy, buy, buy and throw away, throw away, throw away into the garbage. We produce a lot more garbage than we would if the products were from materials that can't break so easily or if I say - that aren't made to break down on purpose. In a way it is logical that it is how it is because companies compete between each other and they are driven by the profit. More they can get from consumers, the better.
In an equal money system there will be no competition, products will be made from the best materials possible and they will last for a lifetime if not even more. Companies will not make product because of the profit. You will buy something and if by any chance the product won't work or for some reasons break, you will get a new one. By making such things, we will not produce as much garbage anymore and this is what I would call "best for all". Best for humans that need products and best for our nature, because it will be able to breathe again. So, support Equal Money System and show the capitalism your middle finger!

Self-correction is the key

It is not hard to write what you have accepted and allowed, what you have realized or what you will correct within yourself in physical. I realized that you can write self forgiveness in every moment, every day for everything that happens but if you are not willing to change, if you are not willing to correct and also determined to achieve actual change and be persistent about what you are doing; self-forgiveness is worth nothing. It is powerful tool for everybody who uses it, with writing you can get to the core of the point you are working on and you can realize a lot but if you don't live the words, you are lost. At Desteni there are three basic tools which help you through, to break down everything that you have accepted and allowed in your life, from desires, emotions and feelings to personalities, relationship fuckups and even physical problems. Those tools are self-forgiveness, self-corrective statements and self-corrective action. If you only apply two out of three, you didn't do anything. It is like if you want to bake bread and you have all the ingredients that you need, you mix them together but then you don't put the dough into the oven. You can't eat it raw even though you did everything except bake it – the most important part. With self-forgiveness it is the same. You can write but if you don't correct yourself in action, you can't change. And this is the hard part because you have to have a lot of strength, self-control, self-direction, self-will to do this. And the key to success is also to be self-honest. I saw many times, when applying self-correction in action that I still have reactions. Important here is not to give up and to not blame yourself. We are in this together, as a group we are strong and even though you fall, don't lay on the ground, stand up again and the group of Destonians will always give you support that you need so you can pick yourself up from the ground. We are all here to support each other, important thing is to accept this support and move on, step by step, breath by breath. Every moment of your breath, until it is done and a new life is born.

Calling people on the phone

For my diploma I had to call some »important« people who are in charge for logistics in the company. These companies are giants for Slovenians market, so it is hard to reach them and contact them. I had to call over 10 companies, because this is the first step of my practical part of my diploma. When my mentor told me that my assignment is based on calling people and introducing them the project we are working on and ask them if they are prepared to cooperate and give their professional opinion on the project, I became pale. The biggest fear since my childhood has been talking to people, approaching to them, ask them for help or calling somebody on the phone who I don’t know. I always asked my grandmother or my sister to do this kind of things instead of me. My mother knew about my fear so when I asked her if she would call instead of me, she said “no, you will call and arrange what you need”, so she was pushing me through my fear. A lot of the times I tried and asked someone else to call instead of me just because I didn’t want to face with my fear. I would rather leave things alone and not deal with them, for example: if a company sent me a bill they would charge me more than they should, I would just pay more so I don’t need to call them and tell them for the mistake. Some time ago, I started to push myself and do things like that on my own, even though a lot of the times my grandmother offered her to call instead of me. But still I pushed myself and said to her that I will call because this is something that I need to clear and when she is not going to be around I would be forced to deal with it by myself anyways.
My concern mostly was that I will forget what I would like to say and just have empty head. So before I called somewhere, I wrote everything that I meant to say on the paper. My hands were always shaking and my heart was beating like crazy when I picked up the phone and dial the number. Then when somebody answered the phone, my voice was all shaky and different and I spoke very fast. I never tried to correct this by breathing or by writing self forgiveness on this point because back then I didn’t know about this.
So now, when I had to call all the companies I was also scared. I was mostly afraid of rejection and if someone will ask me something that I don’t have an answer to it. I again wrote everything down on a paper and read it through for a few times. I picked up the phone and called first company. The fear was the same as it was in the past, I talked the same, I didn’t slow down and take a moment for myself. I rushed into it. But I was aware of what I was doing. When the first conversation was over, I went back to the start; I tried to remember my feelings and emotions during the call, how I experienced myself in that moment. Then I just took a breath, I didn’t think what I am going to say to the next person, I just start talking. And it was much better. The conversation was more relaxed. Every call I made next, it was easier for me, and my fear was getting smaller and smaller every time. I became more confident in what I was saying and people noticed that on the other side of the phone – the results were much better, everyone agreed to help.
 Now, when something similar comes up, that I need to deal with, I just do it and don’t over think, because if I do, all these questions and doubts come up and really all that my mind is trying to do is to limit me. I will not limit myself anymore.

There is no end...

I finally started writing my diploma. It took me almost one year and a half to get to my mentor and ask him for a theme about what I should write. Some time ago I decided to already do that but because I didn’t have a proper theme, professor turned me down and I lost my drive to write it back then. So, a week ago I decided that I have to do this because this “haunts” me again and again somewhere in the back of my head. Vitan asked me if this is really necessary in this moment since I have a lot of things to deal with (going to work every day, doing Desteni I Process and also starting to build my business), if I have time to write it besides all of this and if other things won’t suffer on the way. This is certainly going to be time consuming but I need to complete my schooling, because I feel like I need a closure.
When I am starting to do something I always want to finish it, so it has some ending and the same is here. I have to be at the end so I can say this is it, this is done and I don’t have to worry about it anymore. Because as I already said I need to see the end so I can move on and then worry about another thing which has not ended yet. The same thing is happening in my process. I believe that there will be an end and when this happens, everything will be different. But it is not like that. There is no end, which is why it is called process. It won’t be like “ok, now I’ve gone through all the things and now it is over”. It won’t be over until everybody is done. Just like in every day’s life. When you complete something, you get it done but every time something new comes up on your way, and you need to take care of it and so on…

Unable to breathe

I have been depressed for a few days now, mostly because of my thoughts that keep popping up about relationship things – which are based on energy. I have been dealing with this thoughts by applying self forgiveness and researching the origin of the thoughts –why do I have them, what drives me to think that, when did I experienced this in the past, memories...but more I write, more depressive I am and these thoughts have more power over me, they are stronger, more frequent and more common throughout my day. I am starting to doubt in my application because I don't know what is happening. I don't know how to stop the thoughts and when I want to breathe, I just can't. It is like my lungs are not capable of doing the whole breath – it is almost like when you need to yawn and you can't and then you have this feeling inside you, like you are not completed, like something is missing. 

I know that by just doing self forgiveness and then not living the actual realization and corrective application, this won’t go away. But I don’t know how to release that. I still need to do a lot of writing but still…this inability to breathe normal is insane, it drives me crazy – I feel anxious because my lungs can’t expand. Now I know, how precious one breath can be, how cool it is when I can breathe. Better to get this over with, so I can breathe again.

I need to buy something

A lot of the times I catch myself thinking that I have to buy something. I want to satisfy my desire and urge just by looking at things in the shop and not buying them. It is like a obsession because I don't really need those things - I just want to buy them for no reason (well...the real reason is that feeling that I get when I own something new, when I can actually look and hold this thing and have it in my possession). Many times I already hold something new in my hand and I am already walking towards cashier's but then I stop and I ask myself if I really need this and in many cases I don't. I just need this feeling that I get after buying something. Also it is not the same satisfaction if I buy food or if I buy for example a piece of clothing.So the conclusion here is that I get this satisfactory feeling only when I buy something that I don't need. I don't need air refreshener for my car and I bought it anyway, I don't need 6 glasses, because I have them enough at home but I bought them anyway just because they cost me only 2€. Oh, and I won't even go and tell you about shopping clothes and shoes...It is insane...how many things we buy and then they are just lying at home in some corner because they have no practical value - the only value that this things had was the feeling of buying something eventhough it is totally unpractical and useles. Just look around your home how many things that you don't use are there. There are millions of souvenirs (silly hats, small sculptures, jugs), jewelry, cosmetic things and also clothes and shoes that you wear once a year. I have a lot of clothes and I find myself wearing just a few of them, the rest I don't wear at all. And when I clean my closet and I want throw away (give away) all the clothes that I don't really wear I say to myself "Whell, I didn't really wear this top this year but I will wear it from now on." and I don't. It is in the closet for another year - untouchable. I don't wear it but I can't give it away also. Strange but true.

Procrastination and laziness

Thought:
“Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes?”

Trigger point:
When my grandmother asked me if I can help her with something.

Type of thought:
laziness, procrastination, excuse

Self forgiveness on the thought, trigger point and type of thought:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect when someone asks me something to do to a thought “Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes?”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think the thought “Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes?”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that a thought “Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes” exists within and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that when my grandmother asks me something to help her with triggers a thought “Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes?”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that when my grandmother asks me something to help her with this exists as a trigger point within me, which triggers a thought “Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes?”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to procrastinate.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in a feeling of laziness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, when something is asked of me to be done or something is required of me to be done within the moment – say: “Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes?” – Instead of doing what is required or asked of me in the moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not willing to move and stand up in the moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to procrastinate instead of standing up and get things done in the moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be trapped within the „now‟ of consciousness by not doing what is required of me to be done in a moment, thereby accumulating „unfulfilled” moments within myself – whereby I am literally still trapped in those moments – and thus, of the past.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to walk as breath, wherein I, in every moment, direct myself within what is here and what is required to be done – in the moment, immediately.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manifest a habitual behaviour of laziness through constantly and continuously procrastinating – putting things off for the future – creating and manifesting the feeling of laziness as a drug in my mind, to which I've become addicted.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as lazy person.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to unconditionally move myself in every moment – but instead, put things off to a later moment, until I am almost too late and see that if I don't quickly do what I'm supposed to do, I'll get into trouble.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the threat and anticipation of trouble to move me instead of me moving myself as me.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to discipline myself within moving and directing myself in every here moment – but instead, allow myself to „slack” and „slip” into laziness.
I forgive myself for not applying self-will in every moment, where I will myself to live as me in self-movement, self-direction, self-responsibility and self-honesty in every here moment.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to not apply self-will when there is a task at hand, to will myself in walking through the resistance and getting it done – but instead, allow myself to use excuses and justifications to make me believe that it is „okay” to procrastinate and be lazy.

Self corrective statements:
I do not accept and allow myself to live in the past and therefore I do not accept and allow myself to procrastinate – instead, I will to things in the moment and I will not put off anything what is asked or required of me.
When someone asks me something or something is required of me to be done, I do not put if off and wait for the last moment to take care of it – instead I stand up immediately and to what needs to be done in the moment.
I do not accept and allow myself to procrastinate and search for excuses and justifications why I do not need to do things in the moment – instead of that, I will move myself, direct myself and will myself to do things in the moment and I will not wait any longer just because “I don’t feel like doing it”.
Whenever something is required or asked from me to be done, I do not accept and allow to participate in my mind thinking that it can wait – I stop the thoughts before they occur and I say “Yes, I will to that right now in this moment” – I will walk through resistance and I will not accept and allow laziness to obsess me.

Emotion:
Reluctant

Self forgiveness:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be reluctant.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in emotion of reluctance.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel reluctant when I have to stop doing something that I like to do.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing reluctance to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in emotional experience of annoyance and crankiness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that annoyance and crankiness exist within and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought “Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes?” with emotion of reluctance – crankiness and annoyance.

Self corrective statements:
I do not accept and allow myself to participate in emotional experience of reluctance because this is not who I am and therefore I do not accept and allow to be controlled by this emotion of being reluctant.
I realize that I am reluctant when a “good” feeling is replaced by a “bad” feeling – something that I like to do is replaced by something that I hate to do and therefore I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the polarity of my mind by dividing and seeing things as good and bad instead of realizing that this is just another creation of my mind and there is no such things as good and bad – they are as they are and nothing more or less than that.
When the thought “Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes?” comes up which triggers reluctance within myself, I stop and breathe – I do not accept and allow myself to participate in emotional experience of reluctance because this is not who I am – instead I will forgive the thought and I will stand up and do what needs to be done in the moment.

Words:
Procrastination-

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge the word procrastination with negative value.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the word procrastination as “negative”, “bad” in my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word procrastination through judging the word procrastination as “bad” and “negative”.

A memory when I had to study for exam and I start to study the very last moment:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “procrastination” to a memory when I waited to study for the very last moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “procrastination” within a memory when I waited to study for the very last moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “procrastination” and from the memory when I waited to study for the very last moment through defining word “procrastination” within a memory when I waited to study for the very last moment in separation of myself.
A feeling of anxiety:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “procrastination” to a feeling of anxiety.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “procrastination” within a feeling of anxiety.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “procrastination” and from the feeling of anxiety through defining word “procrastination” within a feeling of anxiety in separation of myself.
Clock:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “procrastination” to a picture of a clock.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “procrastination” within a picture of a clock.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “procrastination” and from the picture of a clock through defining word “procrastination” within a picture of a clock in separation of myself.
A picture of my grandmother asking me something:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “procrastination” to a picture of my grandmother asking me something.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “procrastination” within a picture of my grandmother asking me something.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “procrastination” and from the picture of my grandmother asking me something through defining the word “procrastination” within a picture of my grandmother asking me something in separation of myself.
A feeling of paranoia:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “procrastination” to a feeling of paranoia.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “procrastination” within a feeling of paranoia.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “procrastination” and from the feeling of paranoia through defining the word “procrastination” within a feeling of paranoia in separation of myself.
Knocking on the door:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “procrastination” to knocking on the door.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “procrastination” within knocking on the door.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “procrastination” and from knocking on the door through defining the word “procrastination” within knocking on the door in separation of myself.
A picture of a man who is in a hurry:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “procrastination” to a picture of a man who is in a hurry.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “procrastination” within a picture of a man who is in a hurry.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “procrastination” and from a picture of a man who is in a hurry through defining the word “procrastination” within a picture of a man who is in a hurry in separation of myself.
Time limit:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “procrastination” to a time limit.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “procrastination” within a time limit.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “procrastination” and from time limit through defining the word “procrastination” within a time limit.

Re-defining the word procrastination:

Dictionary definition:
•    to defer action; delay
•    to put off till another day or time

Sounding the word:
Pre – cross – time – rate
Meaning: PRE (before, prior to), CROSS (angry and annoyed), TIME-RATE (being limited with time); Before I get angry and annoyed because am limiting myself with time and I live in the past and not in the moment – by postponing things, procrastinating.

Pro – cast – destination
Meaning: PRO (an argument for something), CAST (to throw away), DESTINATION; To decide that I am going to live in the past by postponing things and not doing them in the moment as I am required or asked to.

New definition:
I procrastinate when I have to do something that I don’t like to do. I wait for a very last moment to complete the task not realizing that by doing that I live in the past and I don’t direct myself in the moment.  When someone asks me something to help him with or when something is required to be done in a moment I often become angry and irritated and this is an indicator for me to see that I have accepted and allowed procrastination and laziness. I also seek for justifications and excuses for not doing it in the moment – so this is also a flag for me to see what I have accepted and allowed. When this “red flags” occur I know that I participate in procrastination and laziness and therefore I stop and push myself through resistances and do what needs to be done in the moment.

Procrastinate – Not wanting to do something in the moment, not being self-directed, self-willed and self-responsible in every moment of every breath.

Pictures:
The picture represents me lying in my bed in the morning and I do not want to wake up – I want to lay a little bit longer even though I know I am wasting my time by lying around. In this picture I just don’t feel like doing anything – I am lazy and I feel miserable because I have to do things that I didn’t do in the moment – I postponed them. Besides my bed is a bedside table and alarm clock on that table.

Self forgiveness on picture:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a picture of me lying in my bed and not wanting to get up in the morning - to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect laziness and procrastination with a picture in my mind of me not willing and wanting to get up in the morning.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define laziness and procrastination within a picture in my mind of me not wanting and willing to get up in the morning.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to postpone things that have already been postponed even more.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from procrastination and laziness through defining it in separation of myself within a picture of me not wanting and willing to get up in the morning.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect a picture of me not wanting and willing to get up in the morning to a thought “Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes?”.

Self corrective statements:
I realize that a picture of me not willing and wanting to get up in the morning is reflecting my everyday life, where I am just postponing and delaying things that I require to do and I am postponing them for the very last moment and because I have to then hurry to complete those things I am miserable because everything is building up and I ran out of time.
I do not accept and allow postponing things anymore because I realize that this is an act of laziness and therefore I do not accept and allow participating in experience of laziness.
Whenever a thought “Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes?” comes up, which triggers a picture of me lying in my bed and not wanting to get up in the morning, I immediately stop and forgive that thought – I do not accept and allow procrastination and laziness to direct me – instead I direct myself, I live in the moment and not in the past.

Hope

Self forgiveness on a thought:
I hope this business will work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect a conversation about my business with a thought “I hope this business will work”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think the thought “I hope this business will work.”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that this thought “I hope this business will work” exists within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that a conversation about my business triggers a thought “I hope this business will work”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that a conversation about my business exists as a trigger point within me, which triggers the thought “I hope this business will work.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hope.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hope for better times.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trap myself in the belief of hope.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to belief that successful business will just happen by hoping and wishing to be successful – instead of realizing that I separate myself by doing that because there is no “superior source” that will rescue me by hoping.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take responsibility for myself and stand up for myself and therefore I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I create my experiences and no one else than myself.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that by taking power to something higher than me and hoping and wishing that this business will work, I just separate myself from this world and giving myself an illusion so I will feel better because I trust in someone else than me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in the illusion of hope.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not trust myself and therefore I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give trust to something/someone else separated from me because I don’t want to disappoint myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I will be disappointed in myself and because of that I rather trust someone or something separated from me (I hope) than myself because I fear that I will fail.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear taking responsibility for myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place my responsibility of self in hope.
I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to wait instead of taking responsibility for myself, acting and standing up in creating and manifesting my own world.
I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to give hope power over me instead of taking my own power and standing up and taking responsibility for myself in directing my own world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take responsibility for myself by trusting myself and not fearing of the outcome and therefore I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I give trust in something/someone else separated from me because it is more convenient to blame others than taking responsibility for everything that I do and standing up.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have to stand up and take responsibility for myself because nothing else will support me as I can support myself.

Self corrective statements:
I do not accept and allow myself to hope since I realized that hope is an illusion and by having hope, hoping, I just not take responsibility for myself and stand up.
I will take responsibility for myself rather than hoping because it is me who creates my experiences so I will trust myself rather than trusting something or someone separate from me.
I will not accept and allow fearing failure and because of that avoiding self responsibility because I fear to face myself – therefore I will stand as one and equal and will not separate myself by hoping.
I realize that I create my world and experiences and therefore I will not wait that something “superior” will “save” me because I am responsible for myself in my world and I realize that no one can do and will do something for me than myself.

When a thought “I hope that business will work” which is triggered by a conversation about my ideas comes up – I stop, I breathe – I forgive that thought immediately and also I do not participate in that thought in any way whatsoever, because I know that by hoping and placing trust into something or someone separated from me, I actually don’t want to face myself, take responsibility for myself and stand up. Therefore I don’t create illusion by hoping and wishing for better times, because I know that I am the one who creates my world and experiences and I am the one who creates this reality and not hope. When a thought of hope comes up, I know that I have to deal with a point of not taking responsibility for myself and therefore I do not wait (as I would do before), I face myself and stand up and by doing that, I support myself and have trust in myself and nothing else which is separated from me.

Self forgiveness on emotion:
Fear of failure

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I will not succeed.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I will fail.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that I am afraid to be disappointed in myself and instead of facing my fear I rather place trust into something or someone separated from me.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I fear because I do not want to take responsibility for myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of failure and because of that fear I place trust into something else, because I am afraid to face myself and to trust myself, instead of realizing that by placing trust into something separated from me, it will not change anything – I am the one who creates this reality and not hope.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in emotional experience of fear of failure.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that fear of failure exists within and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought “I hope this business will work” to an emotion of fear of failure.

Realizations and self corrective statements:
I realize that I fear because I do not want to take responsibility for myself and stand up – I am afraid to stand up and actually see what I have accepted and allowed to exist as, therefore I will not accept and allow to be controlled by my creation of fear – instead, I will face myself and I will not try to avoid taking responsibility for myself.
I will not accept and allow to be controlled by fear and if this emotion will come up again, I will forgive myself accordingly because I know that fear is not who and what I am.
When the thought “I hope this business will work” comes up which triggers this fear of failure, I stop and breathe – I forgive myself for participating in that thought and I do not accept and allow to participate in an emotional experience of fear of failure because this is not who I am – instead, I will take responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed and stand up in every moment of every breath.

Self forgiveness on words:
Hope+

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge the word “hope” with positive value.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the word hope as ‘positive’, ‘good’ in my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “hope” through judging the word “hope” as ‘positive’, ‘good’.

A picture of Jesus praying
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “hope” to a picture of Jesus praying.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “hope” within a picture of Jesus praying.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate from the word “hope” and from the picture of Jesus praying through defining word “hope” within a picture of Jesus praying in separation of myself.

Light
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect word “hope” to a word light.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “hope” within a word light.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate from word “hope” and from word “light” through defining word “hope” within a word light in separation of myself.

Positive outcome
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect word “hope” to positive outcome.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “hope” within a positive outcome.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate from word “hope” and from positive outcome through defining word “hope” within a positive outcome in separation of myself.

Wish
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect word “hope” to word wish.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “hope” within wish.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate from word “hope” and from word wish through defining word “hope” within a wish in separation of myself.

A picture of church:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect word “hope” to a picture of church.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define word “hope” within a picture of church.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate from word “hope” and from a picture of church through defining word “hope” within a picture of church in separation of myself.

Spirituality
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect word “hope” to word spirituality.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define word “hope” within word spirituality.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate from word “hope” and from word spirituality through defining word “hope” within word spirituality in separation of myself.

Re-defining the word hope:

Dictionary definition:
•    the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best
•    a particular instance of this feeling
•    grounds for this feeling in a particular instance
•    to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence
•    to believe, desire, or trust

Sounding the word:
cope  (meaning: to cope – dealing with something)
ope (meaning: open)
rope (cord) – this one would make sense to me – to tie myself up with a rope by hoping because when being tied, I do not have the ability to stand up, take things into my own hands – I just wait for someone to untie me.

New definition:
I start to hope when I do not want to take things into my own hands – meaning not taking the responsibility. When I start to hope, this is a red flag for me to see that I have to stand up and not wait for someone else to do this instead of me, because no one will do it, except me.
Hope, hoping – waiting for someone or something to “save” you because you don’t want to save yourself by taking the responsibility and standing up.

Picture:
A picture of me showing, how I just sold a product to a customer and I am giving it into her hands while she is giving me her money.

SF:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a picture of me and a customer exchanging product and money – to exist within me and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect successful business to a picture in my mind of me and a customer exchanging product and money.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define successful business within a picture in my mind of me and a customer exchanging product and goods.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from successful business through defining it in separation of myself within a picture of me and a customer exchanging money and product.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect picture of myself and a customer exchanging product and money to a thought “I hope this business will work”.

Realizations and self corrective statements:
I realize that a picture of me and a customer exchanging money and a product comes up in my mind when a thought (“I hope this business will work”) comes up because I want and desire to run a successful business – because of the desire for having more money.
   
I do not accept and allow to wish, hope and desire to run a successful business, because I realize that whatever will happen it will happen because I am the creator of my reality.

I do not accept and allow myself to desire to have more money because I realize that I can easily be controlled by the money and therefore whenever this thought, picture, desire, wish comes up, I forgive it immediately, investigate further into detail if this haven’t been done already.
Whenever a thought “I hope this business will work” comes up, I do not participate in my mind trying to imagine how the things can go in the future – instead, I forgive myself for thinking that thought and I stop to participate in my mind and I stop to imagine things how it would be in the future.

Cigarettes

A few days ago I was going to work and outside of the building was a woman who was smoking a cigarette. In that very moment I had really strong desire to smoke one too.

Cigarettes were a part of my life from my childhood basically. My father is a smoker and when I was about 12 years old I tried to smoke cigarettes. I bought a box of cigarettes and it was easy to get because in that store they knew that I was buying cigarettes for my father. One day after school me and two of my friends went to a place where nobody could see us and we tried smoking. It was funny experience because no one knew how to smoke and no one liked it either. So we put smoking on a side until I came into high school where I started to smoke regularly on every day basis. Me and my schoolmate met before class started and every day we had a cup of coffee and a whole bunch of cigarettes. This became a habit since it was going on for four years. But I still didn’t perceive myself as a smoker since I smoked only when I was in school or out. I never smoked at home – there was only one time when I smoked in my room and I opened balcony door so my mom wouldn’t smell cigarette smoke. I didn’t even bother with that because our house already smelled of smoke. I was afraid that my mother will catch me smoking so I never told her about that. That day I put cigarette butt on the balcony shelf and my mother found it (and she never goes into my room, but that day she miraculously went…). She was very angry at me and she asked me if I smoke but instead of telling her the truth I lied and said to her that I only wanted to try how it feels like. When I got to faculty I stopped smoking for 2 years and I was fine with that. I didn’t have desire to smoke and quitting wasn’t hard at all. I just decided one day that I will stop smoking and I did.

I never smoked because of pleasure. In fact I didn’t like the feeling when smoking. So why did I smoke? Well…I have noticed that I occupied myself with cigarette mostly when I had company because I didn’t want to “draw attention”. When someone asked me something I had cigarette to hold on and play with it just to be more relaxed – I was drawing attention to a cigarette and I felt more confident mostly around people who I just met.

After two years I again started to smoke because I was getting into a whole new society – people I didn’t know and as I said before, cigarette was like a shield to me. And again after 6 months or so, I quitted.

I have this funny feeling for a few days now – when I see someone smoking, or when I just see cigarette itself, I have desire to light one up.