torek, 06. september 2011

Unable to breathe

I have been depressed for a few days now, mostly because of my thoughts that keep popping up about relationship things – which are based on energy. I have been dealing with this thoughts by applying self forgiveness and researching the origin of the thoughts –why do I have them, what drives me to think that, when did I experienced this in the past, memories...but more I write, more depressive I am and these thoughts have more power over me, they are stronger, more frequent and more common throughout my day. I am starting to doubt in my application because I don't know what is happening. I don't know how to stop the thoughts and when I want to breathe, I just can't. It is like my lungs are not capable of doing the whole breath – it is almost like when you need to yawn and you can't and then you have this feeling inside you, like you are not completed, like something is missing. 
I know that by just doing self forgiveness and then not living the actual realization and corrective application, this won’t go away. But I don’t know how to release that. I still need to do a lot of writing but still…this inability to breathe normal is insane, it drives me crazy – I feel anxious because my lungs can’t expand. Now I know, how precious one breath can be, how cool it is when I can breathe. Better to get this over with, so I can breathe again.

1 komentar:

  1. Thanks for sharing this Ajda! I am not very glad of hearing about your breathing problems, and if you need any assistance in pushing yourself through this point, just call me or contact your buddy or go to the forum where others will support you.