Procrastination and laziness

Thought:
“Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes?”

Trigger point:
When my grandmother asked me if I can help her with something.

Type of thought:
laziness, procrastination, excuse

Self forgiveness on the thought, trigger point and type of thought:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect when someone asks me something to do to a thought “Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes?”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think the thought “Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes?”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that a thought “Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes” exists within and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that when my grandmother asks me something to help her with triggers a thought “Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes?”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that when my grandmother asks me something to help her with this exists as a trigger point within me, which triggers a thought “Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes?”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to procrastinate.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in a feeling of laziness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, when something is asked of me to be done or something is required of me to be done within the moment – say: “Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes?” – Instead of doing what is required or asked of me in the moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not willing to move and stand up in the moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to procrastinate instead of standing up and get things done in the moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be trapped within the „now‟ of consciousness by not doing what is required of me to be done in a moment, thereby accumulating „unfulfilled” moments within myself – whereby I am literally still trapped in those moments – and thus, of the past.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to walk as breath, wherein I, in every moment, direct myself within what is here and what is required to be done – in the moment, immediately.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manifest a habitual behaviour of laziness through constantly and continuously procrastinating – putting things off for the future – creating and manifesting the feeling of laziness as a drug in my mind, to which I've become addicted.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as lazy person.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to unconditionally move myself in every moment – but instead, put things off to a later moment, until I am almost too late and see that if I don't quickly do what I'm supposed to do, I'll get into trouble.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the threat and anticipation of trouble to move me instead of me moving myself as me.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to discipline myself within moving and directing myself in every here moment – but instead, allow myself to „slack” and „slip” into laziness.
I forgive myself for not applying self-will in every moment, where I will myself to live as me in self-movement, self-direction, self-responsibility and self-honesty in every here moment.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to not apply self-will when there is a task at hand, to will myself in walking through the resistance and getting it done – but instead, allow myself to use excuses and justifications to make me believe that it is „okay” to procrastinate and be lazy.

Self corrective statements:
I do not accept and allow myself to live in the past and therefore I do not accept and allow myself to procrastinate – instead, I will to things in the moment and I will not put off anything what is asked or required of me.
When someone asks me something or something is required of me to be done, I do not put if off and wait for the last moment to take care of it – instead I stand up immediately and to what needs to be done in the moment.
I do not accept and allow myself to procrastinate and search for excuses and justifications why I do not need to do things in the moment – instead of that, I will move myself, direct myself and will myself to do things in the moment and I will not wait any longer just because “I don’t feel like doing it”.
Whenever something is required or asked from me to be done, I do not accept and allow to participate in my mind thinking that it can wait – I stop the thoughts before they occur and I say “Yes, I will to that right now in this moment” – I will walk through resistance and I will not accept and allow laziness to obsess me.

Emotion:
Reluctant

Self forgiveness:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be reluctant.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in emotion of reluctance.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel reluctant when I have to stop doing something that I like to do.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing reluctance to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in emotional experience of annoyance and crankiness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that annoyance and crankiness exist within and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought “Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes?” with emotion of reluctance – crankiness and annoyance.

Self corrective statements:
I do not accept and allow myself to participate in emotional experience of reluctance because this is not who I am and therefore I do not accept and allow to be controlled by this emotion of being reluctant.
I realize that I am reluctant when a “good” feeling is replaced by a “bad” feeling – something that I like to do is replaced by something that I hate to do and therefore I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the polarity of my mind by dividing and seeing things as good and bad instead of realizing that this is just another creation of my mind and there is no such things as good and bad – they are as they are and nothing more or less than that.
When the thought “Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes?” comes up which triggers reluctance within myself, I stop and breathe – I do not accept and allow myself to participate in emotional experience of reluctance because this is not who I am – instead I will forgive the thought and I will stand up and do what needs to be done in the moment.

Words:
Procrastination-

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge the word procrastination with negative value.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the word procrastination as “negative”, “bad” in my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word procrastination through judging the word procrastination as “bad” and “negative”.

A memory when I had to study for exam and I start to study the very last moment:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “procrastination” to a memory when I waited to study for the very last moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “procrastination” within a memory when I waited to study for the very last moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “procrastination” and from the memory when I waited to study for the very last moment through defining word “procrastination” within a memory when I waited to study for the very last moment in separation of myself.
A feeling of anxiety:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “procrastination” to a feeling of anxiety.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “procrastination” within a feeling of anxiety.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “procrastination” and from the feeling of anxiety through defining word “procrastination” within a feeling of anxiety in separation of myself.
Clock:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “procrastination” to a picture of a clock.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “procrastination” within a picture of a clock.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “procrastination” and from the picture of a clock through defining word “procrastination” within a picture of a clock in separation of myself.
A picture of my grandmother asking me something:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “procrastination” to a picture of my grandmother asking me something.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “procrastination” within a picture of my grandmother asking me something.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “procrastination” and from the picture of my grandmother asking me something through defining the word “procrastination” within a picture of my grandmother asking me something in separation of myself.
A feeling of paranoia:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “procrastination” to a feeling of paranoia.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “procrastination” within a feeling of paranoia.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “procrastination” and from the feeling of paranoia through defining the word “procrastination” within a feeling of paranoia in separation of myself.
Knocking on the door:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “procrastination” to knocking on the door.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “procrastination” within knocking on the door.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “procrastination” and from knocking on the door through defining the word “procrastination” within knocking on the door in separation of myself.
A picture of a man who is in a hurry:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “procrastination” to a picture of a man who is in a hurry.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “procrastination” within a picture of a man who is in a hurry.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “procrastination” and from a picture of a man who is in a hurry through defining the word “procrastination” within a picture of a man who is in a hurry in separation of myself.
Time limit:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “procrastination” to a time limit.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “procrastination” within a time limit.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “procrastination” and from time limit through defining the word “procrastination” within a time limit.

Re-defining the word procrastination:

Dictionary definition:
•    to defer action; delay
•    to put off till another day or time

Sounding the word:
Pre – cross – time – rate
Meaning: PRE (before, prior to), CROSS (angry and annoyed), TIME-RATE (being limited with time); Before I get angry and annoyed because am limiting myself with time and I live in the past and not in the moment – by postponing things, procrastinating.

Pro – cast – destination
Meaning: PRO (an argument for something), CAST (to throw away), DESTINATION; To decide that I am going to live in the past by postponing things and not doing them in the moment as I am required or asked to.

New definition:
I procrastinate when I have to do something that I don’t like to do. I wait for a very last moment to complete the task not realizing that by doing that I live in the past and I don’t direct myself in the moment.  When someone asks me something to help him with or when something is required to be done in a moment I often become angry and irritated and this is an indicator for me to see that I have accepted and allowed procrastination and laziness. I also seek for justifications and excuses for not doing it in the moment – so this is also a flag for me to see what I have accepted and allowed. When this “red flags” occur I know that I participate in procrastination and laziness and therefore I stop and push myself through resistances and do what needs to be done in the moment.

Procrastinate – Not wanting to do something in the moment, not being self-directed, self-willed and self-responsible in every moment of every breath.

Pictures:
The picture represents me lying in my bed in the morning and I do not want to wake up – I want to lay a little bit longer even though I know I am wasting my time by lying around. In this picture I just don’t feel like doing anything – I am lazy and I feel miserable because I have to do things that I didn’t do in the moment – I postponed them. Besides my bed is a bedside table and alarm clock on that table.

Self forgiveness on picture:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a picture of me lying in my bed and not wanting to get up in the morning - to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect laziness and procrastination with a picture in my mind of me not willing and wanting to get up in the morning.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define laziness and procrastination within a picture in my mind of me not wanting and willing to get up in the morning.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to postpone things that have already been postponed even more.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from procrastination and laziness through defining it in separation of myself within a picture of me not wanting and willing to get up in the morning.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect a picture of me not wanting and willing to get up in the morning to a thought “Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes?”.

Self corrective statements:
I realize that a picture of me not willing and wanting to get up in the morning is reflecting my everyday life, where I am just postponing and delaying things that I require to do and I am postponing them for the very last moment and because I have to then hurry to complete those things I am miserable because everything is building up and I ran out of time.
I do not accept and allow postponing things anymore because I realize that this is an act of laziness and therefore I do not accept and allow participating in experience of laziness.
Whenever a thought “Can’t it wait for a couple of minutes?” comes up, which triggers a picture of me lying in my bed and not wanting to get up in the morning, I immediately stop and forgive that thought – I do not accept and allow procrastination and laziness to direct me – instead I direct myself, I live in the moment and not in the past.

Hope

Self forgiveness on a thought:
I hope this business will work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect a conversation about my business with a thought “I hope this business will work”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think the thought “I hope this business will work.”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that this thought “I hope this business will work” exists within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that a conversation about my business triggers a thought “I hope this business will work”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that a conversation about my business exists as a trigger point within me, which triggers the thought “I hope this business will work.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hope.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hope for better times.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trap myself in the belief of hope.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to belief that successful business will just happen by hoping and wishing to be successful – instead of realizing that I separate myself by doing that because there is no “superior source” that will rescue me by hoping.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take responsibility for myself and stand up for myself and therefore I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I create my experiences and no one else than myself.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that by taking power to something higher than me and hoping and wishing that this business will work, I just separate myself from this world and giving myself an illusion so I will feel better because I trust in someone else than me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in the illusion of hope.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not trust myself and therefore I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give trust to something/someone else separated from me because I don’t want to disappoint myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I will be disappointed in myself and because of that I rather trust someone or something separated from me (I hope) than myself because I fear that I will fail.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear taking responsibility for myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place my responsibility of self in hope.
I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to wait instead of taking responsibility for myself, acting and standing up in creating and manifesting my own world.
I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to give hope power over me instead of taking my own power and standing up and taking responsibility for myself in directing my own world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take responsibility for myself by trusting myself and not fearing of the outcome and therefore I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I give trust in something/someone else separated from me because it is more convenient to blame others than taking responsibility for everything that I do and standing up.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have to stand up and take responsibility for myself because nothing else will support me as I can support myself.

Self corrective statements:
I do not accept and allow myself to hope since I realized that hope is an illusion and by having hope, hoping, I just not take responsibility for myself and stand up.
I will take responsibility for myself rather than hoping because it is me who creates my experiences so I will trust myself rather than trusting something or someone separate from me.
I will not accept and allow fearing failure and because of that avoiding self responsibility because I fear to face myself – therefore I will stand as one and equal and will not separate myself by hoping.
I realize that I create my world and experiences and therefore I will not wait that something “superior” will “save” me because I am responsible for myself in my world and I realize that no one can do and will do something for me than myself.

When a thought “I hope that business will work” which is triggered by a conversation about my ideas comes up – I stop, I breathe – I forgive that thought immediately and also I do not participate in that thought in any way whatsoever, because I know that by hoping and placing trust into something or someone separated from me, I actually don’t want to face myself, take responsibility for myself and stand up. Therefore I don’t create illusion by hoping and wishing for better times, because I know that I am the one who creates my world and experiences and I am the one who creates this reality and not hope. When a thought of hope comes up, I know that I have to deal with a point of not taking responsibility for myself and therefore I do not wait (as I would do before), I face myself and stand up and by doing that, I support myself and have trust in myself and nothing else which is separated from me.

Self forgiveness on emotion:
Fear of failure

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I will not succeed.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I will fail.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that I am afraid to be disappointed in myself and instead of facing my fear I rather place trust into something or someone separated from me.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I fear because I do not want to take responsibility for myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of failure and because of that fear I place trust into something else, because I am afraid to face myself and to trust myself, instead of realizing that by placing trust into something separated from me, it will not change anything – I am the one who creates this reality and not hope.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in emotional experience of fear of failure.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that fear of failure exists within and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought “I hope this business will work” to an emotion of fear of failure.

Realizations and self corrective statements:
I realize that I fear because I do not want to take responsibility for myself and stand up – I am afraid to stand up and actually see what I have accepted and allowed to exist as, therefore I will not accept and allow to be controlled by my creation of fear – instead, I will face myself and I will not try to avoid taking responsibility for myself.
I will not accept and allow to be controlled by fear and if this emotion will come up again, I will forgive myself accordingly because I know that fear is not who and what I am.
When the thought “I hope this business will work” comes up which triggers this fear of failure, I stop and breathe – I forgive myself for participating in that thought and I do not accept and allow to participate in an emotional experience of fear of failure because this is not who I am – instead, I will take responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed and stand up in every moment of every breath.

Self forgiveness on words:
Hope+

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge the word “hope” with positive value.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the word hope as ‘positive’, ‘good’ in my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “hope” through judging the word “hope” as ‘positive’, ‘good’.

A picture of Jesus praying
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “hope” to a picture of Jesus praying.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “hope” within a picture of Jesus praying.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate from the word “hope” and from the picture of Jesus praying through defining word “hope” within a picture of Jesus praying in separation of myself.

Light
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect word “hope” to a word light.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “hope” within a word light.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate from word “hope” and from word “light” through defining word “hope” within a word light in separation of myself.

Positive outcome
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect word “hope” to positive outcome.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “hope” within a positive outcome.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate from word “hope” and from positive outcome through defining word “hope” within a positive outcome in separation of myself.

Wish
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect word “hope” to word wish.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “hope” within wish.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate from word “hope” and from word wish through defining word “hope” within a wish in separation of myself.

A picture of church:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect word “hope” to a picture of church.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define word “hope” within a picture of church.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate from word “hope” and from a picture of church through defining word “hope” within a picture of church in separation of myself.

Spirituality
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect word “hope” to word spirituality.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define word “hope” within word spirituality.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate from word “hope” and from word spirituality through defining word “hope” within word spirituality in separation of myself.

Re-defining the word hope:

Dictionary definition:
•    the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best
•    a particular instance of this feeling
•    grounds for this feeling in a particular instance
•    to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence
•    to believe, desire, or trust

Sounding the word:
cope  (meaning: to cope – dealing with something)
ope (meaning: open)
rope (cord) – this one would make sense to me – to tie myself up with a rope by hoping because when being tied, I do not have the ability to stand up, take things into my own hands – I just wait for someone to untie me.

New definition:
I start to hope when I do not want to take things into my own hands – meaning not taking the responsibility. When I start to hope, this is a red flag for me to see that I have to stand up and not wait for someone else to do this instead of me, because no one will do it, except me.
Hope, hoping – waiting for someone or something to “save” you because you don’t want to save yourself by taking the responsibility and standing up.

Picture:
A picture of me showing, how I just sold a product to a customer and I am giving it into her hands while she is giving me her money.

SF:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a picture of me and a customer exchanging product and money – to exist within me and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect successful business to a picture in my mind of me and a customer exchanging product and money.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define successful business within a picture in my mind of me and a customer exchanging product and goods.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from successful business through defining it in separation of myself within a picture of me and a customer exchanging money and product.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect picture of myself and a customer exchanging product and money to a thought “I hope this business will work”.

Realizations and self corrective statements:
I realize that a picture of me and a customer exchanging money and a product comes up in my mind when a thought (“I hope this business will work”) comes up because I want and desire to run a successful business – because of the desire for having more money.
   
I do not accept and allow to wish, hope and desire to run a successful business, because I realize that whatever will happen it will happen because I am the creator of my reality.

I do not accept and allow myself to desire to have more money because I realize that I can easily be controlled by the money and therefore whenever this thought, picture, desire, wish comes up, I forgive it immediately, investigate further into detail if this haven’t been done already.
Whenever a thought “I hope this business will work” comes up, I do not participate in my mind trying to imagine how the things can go in the future – instead, I forgive myself for thinking that thought and I stop to participate in my mind and I stop to imagine things how it would be in the future.

Cigarettes

A few days ago I was going to work and outside of the building was a woman who was smoking a cigarette. In that very moment I had really strong desire to smoke one too.

Cigarettes were a part of my life from my childhood basically. My father is a smoker and when I was about 12 years old I tried to smoke cigarettes. I bought a box of cigarettes and it was easy to get because in that store they knew that I was buying cigarettes for my father. One day after school me and two of my friends went to a place where nobody could see us and we tried smoking. It was funny experience because no one knew how to smoke and no one liked it either. So we put smoking on a side until I came into high school where I started to smoke regularly on every day basis. Me and my schoolmate met before class started and every day we had a cup of coffee and a whole bunch of cigarettes. This became a habit since it was going on for four years. But I still didn’t perceive myself as a smoker since I smoked only when I was in school or out. I never smoked at home – there was only one time when I smoked in my room and I opened balcony door so my mom wouldn’t smell cigarette smoke. I didn’t even bother with that because our house already smelled of smoke. I was afraid that my mother will catch me smoking so I never told her about that. That day I put cigarette butt on the balcony shelf and my mother found it (and she never goes into my room, but that day she miraculously went…). She was very angry at me and she asked me if I smoke but instead of telling her the truth I lied and said to her that I only wanted to try how it feels like. When I got to faculty I stopped smoking for 2 years and I was fine with that. I didn’t have desire to smoke and quitting wasn’t hard at all. I just decided one day that I will stop smoking and I did.

I never smoked because of pleasure. In fact I didn’t like the feeling when smoking. So why did I smoke? Well…I have noticed that I occupied myself with cigarette mostly when I had company because I didn’t want to “draw attention”. When someone asked me something I had cigarette to hold on and play with it just to be more relaxed – I was drawing attention to a cigarette and I felt more confident mostly around people who I just met.

After two years I again started to smoke because I was getting into a whole new society – people I didn’t know and as I said before, cigarette was like a shield to me. And again after 6 months or so, I quitted.

I have this funny feeling for a few days now – when I see someone smoking, or when I just see cigarette itself, I have desire to light one up.  

Makeup - the false image

Make up is one thing that I was using from really early years of my life. It all started in grammar school; I was about 12 years old when I started to have a desire for wearing makeup. I secretly put it on before going to school so my mother won’t notice because she wouldn’t let me to wear it. When I came home from school I washed my face because I was scared that she would see me that I hide something from her. But this desire came to me because a few girls in my class wore makeup and I felt that I need to wear it too because I was trying to fit into group of “popular girls”. I started to feel more confident when I was all made-up and I started to use makeup every day. It got to that point that I wouldn’t go out with a dog without wearing makeup because I was afraid that someone would see me how I look without it.

I haven’t been wearing makeup for almost a year now, except for a few days in this period of time. I remember one day when superiors from Italy came to work, I was all dolled-up because I was afraid that they won’t like me the way I am without makeup, that I am not tidy enough but that was just me thinking that way and judging myself because I still wasn’t comfortable with my true image, without false presentation of who I am. Makeup does that – it creates a false image of person, mask behind which we hide ourselves from the truth. And also we deceive others by wearing it. I act like a completely different person when I wore makeup. I was more loud, wanting to have attention, I was more relaxed, confident but when I was “caught” without it, I was shy, reserved, more quiet, I didn’t dare to look person who I was talking to into his/hers eyes.

I was watching a video from Destonian girls where they were talking about this topic. There are really cool points in their discussion where I can see myself in there completely. Here’s the video: