Make up is one thing that I was using from really early years of my life. It all started in grammar school; I was about 12 years old when I started to have a desire for wearing makeup. I secretly put it on before going to school so my mother won’t notice because she wouldn’t let me to wear it. When I came home from school I washed my face because I was scared that she would see me that I hide something from her. But this desire came to me because a few girls in my class wore makeup and I felt that I need to wear it too because I was trying to fit into group of “popular girls”. I started to feel more confident when I was all made-up and I started to use makeup every day. It got to that point that I wouldn’t go out with a dog without wearing makeup because I was afraid that someone would see me how I look without it.
I haven’t been wearing makeup for almost a year now, except for a few days in this period of time. I remember one day when superiors from Italy came to work, I was all dolled-up because I was afraid that they won’t like me the way I am without makeup, that I am not tidy enough but that was just me thinking that way and judging myself because I still wasn’t comfortable with my true image, without false presentation of who I am. Makeup does that – it creates a false image of person, mask behind which we hide ourselves from the truth. And also we deceive others by wearing it. I act like a completely different person when I wore makeup. I was more loud, wanting to have attention, I was more relaxed, confident but when I was “caught” without it, I was shy, reserved, more quiet, I didn’t dare to look person who I was talking to into his/hers eyes.
I was watching a video from Destonian girls where they were talking about this topic. There are really cool points in their discussion where I can see myself in there completely. Here’s the video: