četrtek, 14. april 2011

I wish I could be skinnier - SF

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect seeing myself in the mirror to the thought “I have gained weight again. I wish I could be skinnier.”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing seeing myself in the mirror to exist as a trigger point within me, which triggers the thought of “I have gained weight again. I wish I could be skinnier”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect hard to zip up my pants because they are too tight to the thought “I gained weight again. I wish I could be skinnier.”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that getting dressed and realize that the pants are too tight exists as a trigger point within me, which triggers the thought of “I gained weight again. I wish I could be skinnier”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want/desire to be skinnier.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the desire/want to be skinnier to exist within and as me.

Previous script on trigger point:
Whenever I see myself in the mirror or when I see that my clothes are too small, a thought “I have gained weight again. I wish I could be skinnier.” comes up – thinking if I was skinnier, I would be more confident and beautiful, I would not experience worries within myself about what will other think about my body.

New script on trigger point:
Whenever I see myself in a mirror or getting dressed and see that my pants doesn’t fit – I stop, I breathe – I do not accept or allow myself to separate myself from reality desiring and wishing to be skinnier, thinking and believing that I would be worriless and beautiful. Also I do not accept and allow myself to compare with other beings – instead I realize that I am here, one and equal with myself and other beings and with my body. I do not allow myself to separate myself from my physical body.

Specific type/’shade’ of Emotion or Feeling:
Sadness: disappointment, frustration, misery
Anger: jealousy towards others
Discomfort, dislike

Reason for connecting Thought to Emotion/Feeling:
I am disappointed in myself because I didn’t keep up with my diet and I let this happen – gaining weight (not having “perfect body”). Also I am disappointed in myself because I don’t have persistence to work out at home by myself.
I am frustrated because my body is not how I would like it to be.
I am feeling miserable because of the way my body looks like.
I am jealous towards other women who have body that I desire about. And also I am jealous towards women who are confident in their skin and don’t worry about their appearance.
I am angry with myself because I have gained weight, because I don’t watch what I eat, because I over eat, because I judge myself.
I feel discomfort while watching myself in the mirror because I don’t like how my body looks like.
I feel dislike when I see myself in the mirror because I don’t like my body image and my curves around waist area.

Self-Forgiveness on Connecting Thought with Emotion/Feeling and Reason for Connection:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought “I have gained weight again. I wish I could be skinnier” to an emotional experience of disappointment, because I am not pleased with myself and the way I look.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within an emotional experience of disappointment because I am not self disciplined enough to eat what my body really needs.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within an emotional experience of disappointment because I have gained weight.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within an emotional experience of disappointment because I realize that I don’t have persistence and self will to work out at home by myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that I need somebody that will push me through exercises, because I realize that I don’t want to do this by myself, alone.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within an emotional experience of disappointment because I desire/want my body to be skinnier.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as fat, because I want my body to be skinnier.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am fat.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire eating a lot of food even though I am not hungry.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought “I have gained weight again. I wish I could be skinnier” to an emotional experience of frustration, because I want my body to be skinnier than it is.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within an emotional experience of frustration, because I don’t like how my body looks like when I am looking myself into a mirror.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself on the way my body looks.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to definitions of a “perfect” body and how body should look like that I see on TV or magazines.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought “I have gained weight again. I want to be skinnier” to an emotional experience of misery, because I am not happy with how my body looks like and I want to be skinny as I was a few months ago.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within an emotional experience of misery, because of the way my body looks.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought “I have gained weight again. I want to be skinnier” to an emotional experience of jealousy, because I envy other women who have a body that I want to have.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to envy other women because of their looks.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within an emotional experience of jealousy, because I compare myself with other women about their body.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare with other women about our looks.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within an emotional experience of jealousy towards other women, because I want/desire to have a body like them.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be jealous on women who are skinny because I want to be like them.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself because I am participating within an emotional experience of jealousy towards other women.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within an emotional experience of jealousy towards women who are confident.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire/want to be confident.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as unconfident, because I don’t have “perfect” body.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that women who are confident don’t worry about their appearance.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought “I have gained weight again. I wish I could be skinnier” to an emotion experience of anger because I gained weight.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within an emotional experience of anger because I have gained weight.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within an emotional experience of anger because I don’t watch what I eat.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I gained weight because I don’t watch what I eat.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within an emotional experience of anger because I overeat.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself because I eat when I am not hungry.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself because I overeat.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am addicted to food.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as food junkie, because I eat when I am not hungry and I overeat.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as unattractive because I gained weight.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought “I have gained weight again. I wish I could be skinnier” to an emotional experience of discomfort because I don’t like how my body looks like.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within an emotional experience of discomfort because I don’t like how my body looks.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel discomfort within myself when I see other confident women, because I feel inferior towards confident women.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel inferior towards confident women because I believe that I have nothing to be proud of on my body.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience discomfort within myself because I am not confident enough.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought “I have gained weight again. I wish I could be skinnier” to a emotional experience of dislike, because I judge how my body looks like.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within an emotional experience of dislike because I don’t like how my body looks like when I see myself in the mirror.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my body the way it looks.

I realize and accept myself as one and equal as my body – my body and I are equal and one.
I realize that I need to take responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed, I have to start to stand on my own and stop to depend on others, stop to let others to take responsibility instead of me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in emotions, feelings and thoughts towards gaining weight, instead of realizing that my body is trying to tell me something that needs to be corrected.
I do not accept and allow myself to separate myself from other women through trying to see myself through their eyes.
I do not accept and allow myself to separate myself from other women through comparing myself to them – I am one and equal as other women and I do not accept anything less than that.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to leave in the past (wishing to look like a few months ago) instead of realizing that I am not the past, I am here as I am, in the moment of every breath.
I do not accept or allow myself to participate in jealousy, because I realize and accept that I and other women are one and equal and because of that I realize that there is nothing that other women have that I don’t.
I do not accept and allow myself to create beliefs towards other women.
I realize that I don’t eat what my body really needs, instead of eating what is best for my body, I eat what my mind wants and desire, therefore I do not accept and allow myself to eat what my mind desires, I will eat what my body needs.

Words, pictures and memories:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge the word “beauty” with a positive value.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the word “beauty” as ‘good’/ ‘positive’/ ‘right’ within my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “beauty” through judging the word ‘Freedom’ as ‘good’/ ‘positive’/ ‘right’.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “beauty” to a memory of me being skinnier and fitter.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “beauty” within a memory of me being skinnier and fitter.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from word “beauty” and from a memory of me being skinnier and fitter through defining word “beauty” within being skinnier and fitter in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “beauty” to toned body.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “beauty” within toned body.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from word “beauty” and from toned body through defining word “beauty” within toned boy in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “beauty” to makeup.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “beauty” within makeup.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from word “beauty” and from makeup through defining word “beauty” within makeup in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “beauty” to a picture of me starving myself and feeling miserable.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “beauty” within a picture of me starving myself and feeling miserable.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from word “beauty” and from a picture of me starving and being miserable through defining word “beauty” within a picture of me starving and feeling miserable in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “beauty” to Tyra Banks.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “beauty” to Tyra Banks.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “beauty” and from Tyra Banks through defining word “beauty” within Tyra Banks in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “beauty” to a picture of a six pack abs.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “beauty” within six pack abs.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “beauty” and from six pack abs through defining word “beauty” within six pack abs in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “beauty” to flawless skin.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “beauty” within flawless skin.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “beauty” and from flawless skin through defining word “beauty” within flawless skin in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “beauty” to perfection.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “beauty” within perfection.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from word “beauty” and from perfection through defining word “beauty” within perfection in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “beauty” to money.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “beauty” within money.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “beauty” and from money through defining word “beauty” within money in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “beauty” to health.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “beauty” within health.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “beauty” and from health through defining word “beauty” within health in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “beauty” to long, dark hair.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “beauty” within long, dark hair.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “beauty” and from long, dark hair through defining word “beauty” within long, dark hair in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “beauty” to a picture of a woman getting a massage.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “beauty” within a picture of a woman getting a relaxing massage.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “beauty” and from a picture of a woman getting a relaxing massage through defining word “beauty” within a picture of a woman getting a massage in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “beauty” to a memory of me going to the gym every day.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “beauty” within a memory of me going to the gym every day.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “beauty” and from a memory of me going to the gym every day through defining word “beauty” within a memory of me going to the gym every day in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “beauty” to a pink lily flower with white stripes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “beauty” within a pink lily flower with white stripes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from word “beauty” and from a pink lily flower with white stripes in separation of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “beauty” in polarity according to the word ugly.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the world “beauty” and from word ugly through defining “beauty” in polarity according to the word ugly, in separation of myself.

Previous definition of the word beauty:
Something that is “perfect” on the outside looking it from the perspective of the mind. Seeing images of celebrities that you can see on TV or in magazines through my physical eyes

New definition of the word beauty:
Beauty as self expression, as me as who I am. Perfection of self – meaning to leave as one and equal as life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge the word “confidence” with a positive value.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the word “confidence” as ‘good’/ ‘positive’/ ‘right’ within my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “confidence” through judging the word ‘Freedom’ as ‘good’/ ‘positive’/ ‘right’.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “confidence” to a memory when I was walking home from school and some students were making fun of me and I was ashamed and was looking down on the ground.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “confidence” within a memory of me walking home from school and being ashamed.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “confidence” and from a memory of me walking home from school and feeling ashamed through defining word “confidence” within a memory of me being ashamed in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “confidence” to a business woman dressed in business clothes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “confidence” within a business woman dressed in business clothes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “confidence” and from a business woman dressed in business clothes through defining word “confidence” within a business woman dressed in business clothes in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “confidence” to control.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “confidence” within control.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “confidence” and from control through defining word “confidence” within control in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “confidence” to a feeling of relief.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “confidence” within a feeling of relief.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “confidence” and from a feeling of relief through defining word “confidence” within a feeling of relief in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “confidence” to pride.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “confidence” within pride.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from word “confidence” and from pride through defining word “confidence” within pride in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “confidence” to a picture of me standing fearless in front of my professors while I am having a presentation of my diploma.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to defining the word “confidence” within a picture of me standing fearless while having a presentation of my diploma in front of my professors.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “confidence” and from a picture of me standing fearless and having a presentation of my diploma through defining word “confidence” within a picture of me standing fearless and having a presentation of my diploma in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “confidence” to fearless.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “confidence” within fearless.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “confidence” and from fearless through defining word “confidence” within fearless in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “confidence” to a picture of me, holding my head high.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “confidence” within a picture of me, holding my head high.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “confidence” and from a picture of me holding my head high through defining word “confidence” within a picture of me holding my head high in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “confidence” to a memory of me reading an article about rising up your confidence.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “confidence” within a memory of reading an article about rising up your confidence.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “confidence” and from a memory of reading an article through defining word “confidence” within a memory of reading an article in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “confidence” to standing up for myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “confidence” within standing up for myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “confidence” and from standing up for myself through defining word “confidence” within standing up for myself in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “confidence” to power.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “confidence” within power.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “confidence” and from power through defining word “confidence” within power in separation of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “confidence” in polarity according to the word unconfidence.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “confidence” and from the word unconfidence through defining “confidence” in polarity according to the word unconfidence, in separation of myself.

Old definition of the word confidence:
Something or somebody who has power and control over oneself, being fearless and direct, having trust in oneself.

New definition of the word confidence:
Accepting myself as one and equal to other beings and standing as one and equal in every breath.

Self-Forgiveness on Picture as a whole, details of the picture, what the picture represents and Connection to the thought:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a picture of me standing and watching on a scale with a reflection of myself in a mirror at the background in an empty room – to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the picture of me standing on a scale to the thought “I have gained weight again. I wish I could be skinnier”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect frustration, prejudice and unhappiness to a picture in my mind of me standing and watching on a scale with a reflection of myself in the mirror at the background in an empty room.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the words frustration, prejudice and unhappiness within a picture in my mind of me standing and watching on a scale with a reflection of myself in the mirror at the background in an empty room.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from frustration, prejudice and unhappiness through defining the words in separation of myself within a picture of me standing and watching on a scale.

Complete unfolding of Memory 1:
I remember the time when I was going to the gym every day to aerobic lessons. I was working out really hard and I was having fun while exercising – we were singing the songs together with the group and instructor, enjoying the music. I remember a big smile on my face and a lot of sweating and determination.

Another memory came up and this one was when I was skinnier and I felt good because of that. I was getting all kinds of attention because I lost some weight and everybody was having something to say. I remember one moment when I was in the kitchen standing beside the kitchen counter and my father looked at me and said that I will break on half and that my body is too thin (he was appalled) and I liked that. I felt comfortable in my body and I was more confident.

Relevant points within the Memory 1:
•    aerobic lessons
•    having fun

Reason for holding on to the Memory 1:
Defining beauty according to this memory of me getting to aerobics every day

Self-Forgiveness on Memory 1:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect a memory of going to the gym every day and enjoying exercising and having fun, to the thought “I have gained weight again. I wish I could be skinnier”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to the memory of me going to the gym every day and enjoying exercising and having fun.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have defined my beauty within a memory of me going to the gym every day and having fun while exercising.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from beauty through defining it within a memory of me going to the gym every day and having fun while exercising, in separation of myself.

Complete unfolding of Memory 2:
Another memory came up and this one was when I was skinnier and I felt good because of that. I was getting all kinds of attention because I lost some weight and everybody was having something to say. I remember one moment when I was in the kitchen standing beside the kitchen counter and my father looked at me and said that I will break on half and that my body is too thin (he was appalled) and I liked that. I felt comfortable in my body and I was more confident.

Relevant points within the Memory 2:
•    being skinnier
•    getting attention
•    fathers reaction
•    being comfortable and confident

Reason for holding on to the Memory 2:
A want and desire to be skinny again and getting attention and also defining beauty according to this memory.

Self-Forgiveness on Memory 2:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the memory of me being skinnier and getting attention from people like my father and their reactions and a feeling of being comfortable and confident because of that, to a thought “I have gained weight again. I wish I could be skinnier”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to a memory of me being skinnier and getting all this attention from other people, including my father’s reaction and a feeling of being comfortable and confident because of that.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have defined a want and desire to be skinny again and to have defined beauty within a memory of me being skinnier and getting attention, feeling confident and comfortable.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to a memory of me being skinnier because I desire to be skinnier like I was in the past.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to a memory of being skinnier and getting attention because I want to feel special.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word “special” to a memory of me being skinnier and getting attention.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word “special” within a memory of me being skinnier and getting attention.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from word “special” and from a memory of me being skinnier and getting attention through defining word “special” within a memory of me being skinnier and getting attention in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word special in polarity according to the words worthless and unimportant.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word “special” and from words worthless and unimportant through defining “special” in polarity according to the words unimportant and worthless, in separation of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to a memory of me getting a reaction from my father because I was skinny, because I felt special and noticeable in his eyes and I desire to be special and noticeable in my father’s eyes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting and desiring to be noticeable and special in my father’s eyes because I want to have his attention.

3 komentarji:

  1. Wow, the most extensive self-forgiveness that I have ever seen XO Did you write it all from yourself or did you copy/paste some of the text from the forum?

    OdgovoriIzbriši
  2. I did it by myself. For IDT assignment.

    OdgovoriIzbriši