četrtek, 03. marec 2011

Different looking situations are sometimes the same

I finally wrote an email to my professor yesterday, because I need someone to be my mentor for my diploma. Every week I said to myself that I will write him on Monday because I always thought that everything starts with a new week or a new month or a year. So I have been postponing this for a few months now because I didn’t want to get obligated by anything (if I decide to write him and ask him for mentorship, then I have to do certain things by date and I was afraid of that because deadlines are making me nervous and worried). So, the fear is the main reason why I didn’t write him for so long. Also I wanted to be worries-free and do what I wanted to do – have time for myself and enjoy by doing nothing. I have a tendency in doing things at the last moment. I remember at high school and also grammar school, I always studied last day before the exam and I was really nervous a whole week before the exam because I knew that I have to study and I knew that I won’t be studying anything before the last day and because of that I won’t have enough time to go through all the material. But still (even though I knew that, I didn’t study before it was getting critical) I was very precise when learning the material, going in every detail, not wanting to skip “unimportant” information and because of that, I often didn’t manage to go through all the material. And this happened for all the exams – the same thing over and over again. And this would happen also in this case with my diploma. I have just noticed that when something needs to be done I have a lot of resistance within me to just get up and do it. For example I have to clean my room because it is in mess and I just postpone cleaning every day - saying to myself that I will do it next day. But when I finally decide to clean it, I then do the job with a high level of precision (the exact same thing like when studying)…very interesting…and also a feeling of anxiety is there every time when something like this is happening (few days before I decide to just do the damn thing).  Same feelings and emotions in that kind of situations which are also exactly the same  situations if I look at this from the whole perspective. Wow…

2 komentarja:

  1. Interesting pattern you have. Nice to get aware of them and transforming them.

  2. This pattern is really annoying, I have it too..Now I'am learning how to be more organised and try not to postpone things, which have to be done...I'm trying to eat alive frog as Brian Tracy would say...that way you don't make yourself problems and you are much more efficient and content with yourself