For my diploma I had to call some »important« people who are in charge for logistics in the company. These companies are giants for Slovenians market, so it is hard to reach them and contact them. I had to call over 10 companies, because this is the first step of my practical part of my diploma. When my mentor told me that my assignment is based on calling people and introducing them the project we are working on and ask them if they are prepared to cooperate and give their professional opinion on the project, I became pale. The biggest fear since my childhood has been talking to people, approaching to them, ask them for help or calling somebody on the phone who I don’t know. I always asked my grandmother or my sister to do this kind of things instead of me. My mother knew about my fear so when I asked her if she would call instead of me, she said “no, you will call and arrange what you need”, so she was pushing me through my fear. A lot of the times I tried and asked someone else to call instead of me just because I didn’t want to face with my fear. I would rather leave things alone and not deal with them, for example: if a company sent me a bill they would charge me more than they should, I would just pay more so I don’t need to call them and tell them for the mistake. Some time ago, I started to push myself and do things like that on my own, even though a lot of the times my grandmother offered her to call instead of me. But still I pushed myself and said to her that I will call because this is something that I need to clear and when she is not going to be around I would be forced to deal with it by myself anyways.
My concern mostly was that I will forget what I would like to say and just have empty head. So before I called somewhere, I wrote everything that I meant to say on the paper. My hands were always shaking and my heart was beating like crazy when I picked up the phone and dial the number. Then when somebody answered the phone, my voice was all shaky and different and I spoke very fast. I never tried to correct this by breathing or by writing self forgiveness on this point because back then I didn’t know about this.
So now, when I had to call all the companies I was also scared. I was mostly afraid of rejection and if someone will ask me something that I don’t have an answer to it. I again wrote everything down on a paper and read it through for a few times. I picked up the phone and called first company. The fear was the same as it was in the past, I talked the same, I didn’t slow down and take a moment for myself. I rushed into it. But I was aware of what I was doing. When the first conversation was over, I went back to the start; I tried to remember my feelings and emotions during the call, how I experienced myself in that moment. Then I just took a breath, I didn’t think what I am going to say to the next person, I just start talking. And it was much better. The conversation was more relaxed. Every call I made next, it was easier for me, and my fear was getting smaller and smaller every time. I became more confident in what I was saying and people noticed that on the other side of the phone – the results were much better, everyone agreed to help.
Now, when something similar comes up, that I need to deal with, I just do it and don’t over think, because if I do, all these questions and doubts come up and really all that my mind is trying to do is to limit me. I will not limit myself anymore.
My concern mostly was that I will forget what I would like to say and just have empty head. So before I called somewhere, I wrote everything that I meant to say on the paper. My hands were always shaking and my heart was beating like crazy when I picked up the phone and dial the number. Then when somebody answered the phone, my voice was all shaky and different and I spoke very fast. I never tried to correct this by breathing or by writing self forgiveness on this point because back then I didn’t know about this.
So now, when I had to call all the companies I was also scared. I was mostly afraid of rejection and if someone will ask me something that I don’t have an answer to it. I again wrote everything down on a paper and read it through for a few times. I picked up the phone and called first company. The fear was the same as it was in the past, I talked the same, I didn’t slow down and take a moment for myself. I rushed into it. But I was aware of what I was doing. When the first conversation was over, I went back to the start; I tried to remember my feelings and emotions during the call, how I experienced myself in that moment. Then I just took a breath, I didn’t think what I am going to say to the next person, I just start talking. And it was much better. The conversation was more relaxed. Every call I made next, it was easier for me, and my fear was getting smaller and smaller every time. I became more confident in what I was saying and people noticed that on the other side of the phone – the results were much better, everyone agreed to help.
Now, when something similar comes up, that I need to deal with, I just do it and don’t over think, because if I do, all these questions and doubts come up and really all that my mind is trying to do is to limit me. I will not limit myself anymore.
